The fact that you're older than the student, a female, and the prof makes it way hotter. He stated, "In the international TA's classroom, it is the student who is the foreigner and the TA needs to make the student feel welcome. Maybe something there would be of use to you? Your university probably has a policy on dating current students, but I really doubt they have anything explicit on former students, beyond CYA catch-all sexual harassment language. It's a mixture of words, tone of voice, the blouse, the touching: This can cause serious problems and bad feelings for both the TA and student. Seriously, check the university policy to be above board about it. A positive attitude can avoid troublesome situations. We Chinese are very concerned about saving face. That doesn't mean it will affect your professional standing, but it will probably get gossiped about. Such dating, they reason, not only "disrupts" the student-teacher relationship between those directly involved, but also upsets the learning environment for other students in the class and may result in charges of discrimination. So, what you're suggesting is definitely not risk free, even after grades are turned in; but on the whole I don't think it's too worrisome.
Here at Boston University, there are strict rules against any outside relationships involving students and their superiors. This was an accident. We have been married for 22 years. But there are a variety of reasons as to why collegiettes would want to start a flirtation or relationship with their professor or TA, and every situation is different. Most colleges and universities are particularly sensitive to aspects of the TA- student relationship that can involve issues of dating or sexual interaction. November 17, 5: Do you think the faculty don't have anything better to do than gossip about you? Do other TAs do this? The school pays you 8 hours a day for peanuts, BTW ; they don't get to regulate you beyond those hours. Right, got that after posting my comment. Now you look at her blouse and it is open a bit. What should you do about it? So you might try a similar anonymous email to find out what your school's policy and culture is. If you use an email address or other contact details which you only have because you're his teacher then that could potentially be a problem. If you have a personal relationship with a student -- platonic, non-platonic, or whatever -- get someone else to grade their work whether another TA or the instructor. You do need to check your university policy, though. My university doesn't have a policy, but it seems there's an unwritten rule that instructors shouldn't be grading people they are dating. That should tell you everything you need to know about whether it's okay where you are. And don't ever mention anything about grading him harder for any reason even in passing , because that's never going to go down well. Just make sure that he's single before you make any advances. You have already said enough here for him to challenge every grade you have given him that "mark the smarter kids harder to bring out their potential" will not fly as an acceptable practice, throw in you sleeping with the kid and you would be doomed at a hearing I would avoid this. Anyway, there was some student publication at Columbia, might have even been the Spectator, that published an article about this and I remember being shocked at how widespread the article made it seem it was is. She was 18 and he was 24, and they dated for three months. Perhaps in some cultures the instructor- student relationship is more clearly defined so that both students and teachers have clear and stable expectations of one another. The OP did not know that this was ok prior to posting this question.
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