Rule No sex. So do about other mature women who live nearby. You should strike while the iron is hot, so to speak. The rule seems to be if you have a body part that will move, you should shake it vigorously without regard to the tempo or rhythm of the music. Rule Keep your clothes on. Eight Simple Rules for Dating My Mother I am continuing my quest to represent a group that is much underrepresented in the media. She sleeps very soundly and you would still be responsible for getting her home. There will be no out-of-town trips without a proper chaperone—me. They think wine might loosen up their date. On Thursday night mom plays bingo. Rule Be home early.
The rule seems to be if you have a body part that will move, you should shake it vigorously without regard to the tempo or rhythm of the music. She actually does not hear car horns—or thunder, or gunfire in the back yard. She would be confused and somewhat distressed trying do some of the current dance rages where the couples do not touch but move body and limbs in what appears to be a random fashion. They play multiple cards and mark off the bingo numbers with a bigheaded magic marker made specifically for that purpose. My mother is in the group known as something. Rule No sex. So do about other mature women who live nearby. If you take mom out for a meal do not feed her nuts or anything with small seeds, like blackberries. It is OK to take her dancing. In other words if you are not pretty well off, you should plan to date someone whose only son does not have such high expectations for a potential stepfather. Also, please remember to bring a copy of your most recent income tax return. Rule 7—Bring a gift. Rule Do not take my daughter anyplace where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool. Oh, I know a lot of guys would bring a bottle of fine wine. Although she is dynamic, vivacious, and very sexy for an something, time will probably erode these qualities. Rule 6—No dates on Thursday night. Rule 8—Be home early. Be home before Well Metamucil works for mom. Be civilized and walk up to the front door and ring the bell. Rule Be home early. Anyway mom has very few body parts that are currently moveable. Also, you should make no untoward or dirty inferences about the red light. Mom generally goes to sleep around They think wine might loosen up their date. You should have the resources to cover all the expenses of all parties, including the chaperones.
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