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Dating guys with emotional baggage

Posted on by Aranris Posted in Big Ass 3 Comments ⇩

Insight makes a big difference, with all the varieties of baggage you can run into. For some guys, it could take weeks, for others, years. The important question is not whether he has baggage -- but what he's doing about it. Guys generally avoid emotional conversations at all costs — in fact, a lot of guys would rather be single and alone than have to deal with emotional conversations. The other is that he is exclusively attracted to manipulators or people who will treat him badly, which raises questions about how he perceives you. It just isn't realistic. Yes, maybe bad things happened to him in his past that effect him. How can I make him understand that even though we are starting fresh, we still have a past and some things could come back to us in the future unless we solve them now? This type of baggage is even more of a problem when combined with bitterness and resentment. It comes down to one thing: What does it matter if you guys have a history?

Dating guys with emotional baggage


If he's still in love with an ex but he thinks she's crazy and that she treated him terribly, you can expect to hear a lot more about this woman than you really want to. If the man you're dating has had a lot of bad experiences, listen to what he has to say about them. When you really let this sink in, you will realize that you never have to worry about being swept away by your emotions again. The other is that he is exclusively attracted to manipulators or people who will treat him badly, which raises questions about how he perceives you. This type of baggage is even more of a problem when combined with bitterness and resentment. If he knows how he contributed to those situations and what he wants to do differently this time, then his bad feelings about his past relationships can probably be managed. Yes, maybe bad things happened to him in his past that effect him. Or maybe he just said they did as an excuse to avoid getting closer than he wanted to get. Carrying a Torch It's not uncommon these days for people to remain friends with their exes, so just because the man you're dating is close to an ex doesn't necessarily mean he's still in love with her. If the man you're dating has a lot of stories about awful ex-girlfriends and the terrible things they did to him -- two possibilities exist. I know some world-class baggage superstars that immediately get their stuff together when a girl appears that they want a relationship with. Either can be a problem, but watch out for signs of misogyny. Does he want you enough… or not? How can I make him understand that even though we are starting fresh, we still have a past and some things could come back to us in the future unless we solve them now? The important question is not whether he has baggage -- but what he's doing about it. Guys generally avoid emotional conversations at all costs — in fact, a lot of guys would rather be single and alone than have to deal with emotional conversations. The only way you could possibly have a problem with getting carried away by emotions is if you build up a fantasy future. What does it matter if you guys have a history? A man who has been through a divorce or some other negative life experience is probably going to have some unresolved issues. People who seem to need rescuing can be unstable in other ways, so the man who repeatedly tries to rescue women can also be the man whose ex-girlfriends are all supposed to be crazy. The other side of what I wanted to address and I actually believe this is your biggest concern is: And how can I maintain my confidence and self-respect now and not get emotionally swept away again, like I did before? However, a man who is still pining over a lost love is never going to be emotionally available to you. If you've been going through a hard time -- for whatever reason -- it might feel nice to date a would-be rescuer. For your situation… if you want to have a friendship with this guy, you have to stop feeding the ideas that you have a relationship with him. It just isn't realistic. The important factor here is that you give the guy space.

Dating guys with emotional baggage


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3 comments on “Dating guys with emotional baggage
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    Mikasa

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  3. Nataur:

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